Revisiting Teyr'loch Delter Pach
- The Archivist
- Jun 4
- 9 min read
I was eager this week to wax poetic on my progress for Teyr'loch Delter Pach, which I've "restarted" in the sense that I took it back to its most basic elements to determine what the core story actually is, buuuuuut a multitude of factors decided to gather today of all days to kick me in the derriere, and I haven't the energy to do any waxing or write any poetry. Womp, womp.
One of the struggles I was experiencing with Teyr'loch Delter Pach (TDP) was its Theme. The performance will take place in a church dedicated to a god of Fate, and many of the elements within the story touch on Cael's strained relationship over the years with Fate. Naturally, I concluded that Fate was the theme and started compiling the original performance with that as its focal point.
I was wrong.
Had I not given the performance some time to sit in the proverbial desk drawer so I could finish a few other priorities, maybe I never would have pinpointed the issue I was having with the "muddiness" around certain portions. It felt like I was trying to mesh too many ideas without a solid foundation to which they could all be linked. Any time I tried to ask myself, "How does this scene enrich the story Cael's trying to tell?" I couldn't say, because I didn't have a clear understanding of what the story was they were trying to share, not really.
First and foremost, before I looked at any previous drafts, before I tried to write any new outline, before I so much as turned on my computer, I opened a notebook and wrote a question:
What is the story Cael wants to tell their father and his envoy?
What is the end goal?
It was easy to list the goals for their other performances. For the Lurros Family in Shipton, it was to get everyone on the same page regarding Thane's change in behavior and reveal the identity of the one behind that change. The goal for their solo performance given to their professor was to show him how integral his support was to their recovery.
This is a different beast entirely, because Cael isn't focusing on using bits of their story as a medium to show others what's really going on. They are undressing themselves in a metaphorical sense to say, in its basest form, "I'm not the monster you feared I would be." It is probably the most self-indulgent thing they have ever done, and that's part of why planning has proven a challenge. The performance isn't to highlight someone else's growth or struggles. It's a performance about them.
It's a performance about Identity.
Or, at the very least, Cael's Identity as they perceive it, which will undergo an interesting transformation before the end of TDP, but I'll get to that.
Allow me a moment to face-palm here, because this is one of those instances where the answer has been staring me in the face the whole time but I've been too blind to see it. Of course the central theme is Identity. Their father doesn't know who Cael is, not really, so they want to show him who they've become in the years following their escape from Shadow Ezada, the formation and evolution of their Identity through their experiences with Valen and at the Arcane College and as Efiál.
What Cael doesn't realize until the middle of the performance is that they, too, haven't fully accepted their Identity. They ran away from feelings of hate and anger and revenge because, "that's how someone turns to darkness," which is where the thematic tendril of Fear weaves into the story, specifically Fear of Fate.
So, by the end of the performance, they reach a degree of self-actualization they've never before felt, and the thematic tendrils of Fear and Fate weave together into Faith, solidifying their Identity even within the present moment of their performance. I expect it to be one of the most powerful scenes to date in the campaign, because Cael finally, unabashadly believes in themselves.
Rewriting the Outline
With the question of, "What is the story they're trying to tell?" answered and with my notebook still open, I started outlining the flow of TDP yet again from beginning to end using a very traditional outline format. I'd like to emphasize that I'm not rewriting everything from scratch. Many of the ideas remain intact; it's just now I have a better idea of how they tie back to the central theme, and any that don't get altered or cut altogether.
Intro
Myra sings to Cael
Conversation b/w Cael & Valen
Memories up to their Awakening
”Life is a precious thing”? — It did become a core part of their Identity
Act I
Cael & Valen dancing
Memories of life in Willowdale with emphasis on building family/community, which majorly shaped their Identity
Memories of Valen, their budding relationship, his encouragement for them to act independent & their bucking against that, especially in the beginning
Cael leaving for the College
Cael’s life @ the College of Arcane Studies
Cut straight to planning the Cultural Festival when focused on their friends
Bounce back & forth between that & Wysaqirelle’s treatment of them
Them giving him the tea set to bookend:
Their first visit to his office & giving him tea
Receiving the fateful letter
Act II
Pihm’s 1st Reading: The 4 of Cups (Past)
A time of disconnectedness & apathy
The 3 months following Valen’s kidnapping
Dialing in on the negative view of their Identity
Ending with magic expulsion
Wyse stepping up
“Any time.”
“May I have a hug, please?”
Pihm’s 2nd Reading: The 3 of Pentacles (Present)
A time of building, collaboration
Shipton & Hell: feeling of vengeance toward the Erinys
Month of Downtime
Lead up to “I’m good enough”
Pihm’s 3rd Reading: The 7 of Swords (Future)
Deception, trickery, turning a blind eye
Flink’s view of the Occult & its effect on Efial over time
Laced corn, magic going out of control
Fall out & “I know who I am” — a deceit?
Self-deception?
Fight with illusory copy of self
Not allowed to feel anger or hate, bury unsavory emotions b/c they could inspire “evil” acts
Demonizing that state of Zoning
Argument with Brod concerning it
Tower
Act III
Jakhturim’s 1st Reading: The 7 of Pentacles, Reversed (Past)
Finish line to the goal has been in sight, but delays & setbacks have interfered with progress, leading to anxiety, frustration, and impatience
Could this be the fight with themselves?
Brod’s declaration of godhood
Flink, ctd
Zoning, ctd
Jakhturim’s 2nd Reading: The Emperor (Present)
The Interlude?
Acceptance — Include Jakhturim & his view of Fate?
Realizing & lifting the veil on their self-deception
“I am a progeny of shadow…and that’s okay.”
“I have faith in you,” to themselves & Phusyn
Shadow Dance, blindfolded
- Faith
- Self-confidence
- Lean on fatherly figures; forgiving Wyse: “I am a forgiver”
- “Release”
Jakhturim’s 3rd Reading: The Queen of Pentacles Reversed (Future)
The risk of overexertion
The Vision
Revelation: “It’s a cry for help”
The Song as a warning
Delegate to focus on what needs to be done
We all have a role to fill
Flames of Everlasting Wishes
Epilogue
Dance with Patra
“I’m proud to be your Little Shadow”
I know much of the above won't make much sense to hardly anyone as of right now. That's okay. As the journey through this story progresses, hopefully more shall become clear. Already, however, I feel this outline embodies what the story is more than the tens of thousands of words I'd written of the original rough draft of TDP. We'll see if it holds true as I expand upon it.
The Intro
Having finished the rough draft of the above outline on Sunday the 1st, I started in on writing descriptions of the scenes once more, managing well over 3k words in a single day as the images flowed one into the next like a movie reel. I won't share all of what I've written thus far, but here's a snippet from the beginning to somewhat illustrate what in blazes is going on in my head.
In the silence, I start moving, the only sound the rustle of cloth and the rough whisper of my hands manipulating the staff like a twirler’s baton, each swing and whirl slow and measured.
I fall into a light trance, watching my step through half-lidded eyes just so I don’t trip over any of the ropes.
The shadows respond accordingly, ebbing and flowing around the room like the pull of the tide, swirling along the lengths of the walls and columns counterclockwise, the same direction I’m moving.
This is me, as I am now, fully awakened and accepting of my gift. How the other Kayal react, I do not know; I can’t afford my concentration to break under their shock or horror, so I let myself be what I am and show my father just how nuanced my control has become since I became me.
I dial it back to the beginning, back to when I was no one, back to when I was empty and at the mercy of commands I had no will to disobey, back to a plush yet sparse bedroom.
The shadows splash into furniture along the cavern walls—a bed, a desk, a dresser, shelves that display the silhouettes of souvenirs and decorative pieces. A rectangular outline frames a closed door, and the empty outline of a young Kayal sits at a desk writing in a book of some sort with a small lantern flickering light through negative space.
There’s a knock, and the shadow of the door opens. An elegant silhouette with a commanding but graceful presence enters followed closely by another bearing a tray. The latter places the tray on the nightstand next to the bed, pulls back the covers, and bows before leaving as the woman approaches the empty Kayal, who is in the process of closing their book.
Myra’chen: Cael, it is time for bed.
The empty silhouette turns and slides out of the chair with unnatural rigidity, not responding like a child might with the usual complaints and gripes of not feeling tired. They simply obey and walk over to climb into the bed.
Their mother follows, her grace a stark contrast to the child’s stiffness.
She stands there a moment, a shadow in contemplation, a wariness to the slight fall of her shoulders. As though realizing her slip in presentation, she straightens and then takes a seat at the edge of the bed, reaching out with a hand to run slender fingers through the child’s hair. The gesture is not unkind but neither is it warm. It is the practiced motion of a mother who has automated her affection to a child that cannot feel.
Myra: Shall I sing you a lullaby, Cael?
The child does not respond with even the simplest of nods.
Myra: It has been quite some time, hasn’t it?
She replaces her delicate hands in her lap and stares off at a fixed point elsewhere.
As a memory of shadow, she does not see me dancing.
Considering this passage alone was ~500 words, there's a part of me that's scared to know how long the performance is going to be after I've finished the rough draft again, but one consideration I'm keeping in mind is the idea that the length could simply be a result of Cael not having time to fully plan this performance. So, they're moving from one scene to the next in a way that preserves continuity, but as a consequence, maybe it turns out longer than they anticipated, especially with some of the revelations they have during.
This is me as the writer spewing justifications, of course. We'll see how long it really ends up being.
Other Notable Accomplishments:
I'm going to try and lower the band resistance this next week for my pull-ups. I'm not looking forward to it in the least because I remember how difficult and frustrating dropping to the blue band from the orange was, but I'm getting stronger slowly yet surely~
Questions for Contemplation & Discussion:
When you think of people using the shadows in stories, what comes to mind first? Thieves and rogues like most of those represented in TTRPGs? Assassins such as the Shadow Dancers to the Cult of Rashan (Malazan Book of the Fallen reference)? Laudna from Campaign 3 of Critical Role? Or something else entirely?
It makes sense. The cover of darkness is when a lot of crime takes place. In general darkness and shadow magic are represented in media as being the tools of nefarious, ill-intentioned, professional killers or "spooky" people. I wanted to turn that perception on its head a bit with Cael, who's a "shadow dancer" in the sense that they use dance as part of their shadow puppetry to tell stories. You know, 'cause not all bards are musicians like many TTRPGs want you to believe.
What are some other tropes you've noticed in books and other media that you're either sick of (amnesiac main characters for me) or have an interesting spin done to them?
This Week's Obligatory Cat Pic: Qiri
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