I'm Catchin' Up
I want the world to know ♫
(I'm starting to notice a trend with these recent posts....)
Embers Hot, Embers Cool
Rereading transcripts so I can catch up on (re)writing Cael's journal entries months after playing the relevant session(s) has its perks. It's not the same as writing them while my creative synapses are in full tilt, which also has its uses, but maybe that's because both modes are two sides to the same coin, like the constant flip between the faces of discipline and inspiration, marathons and sprints.
Nothing beats the euphoria of furiously dissecting the minute details of the entire day right after it finishes. (My partner can attest to the unhinged glint in my eyes whenever we hold our post-session chats.) Cael's opinions and observations for the day ring in my ears more clearly than the peal of a tuning fork in a cathedral. The hours following a session are when the story feels most alive to me, so much so that I can't easily sleep, and there would be nights in the past where I would stay up later to write Cael's journal for that in-game day just to get their (and my) thoughts out.
There's that delicious temptation to write about anything and everything from the day, which can result in not only impossibly long letters or journal entries but also mute the elements that actually matter for making the story compelling. There were definitely times in the past where I preemptively started one of Cael's journal entries while the in-game day hadn't yet resolved, and then added onto it after subsequent sessions until it had. Unless Cael was writing for upwards of several hours each day, such verbosity should not be possible.
What I've discovered with this most recent game of "Catch Up!" is that, although I can most clearly articulate how Cael feels about any given moment right after a session, allowing real-life weeks and months to pass before writing informs me of which of their feelings or thoughts persist most determinedly. Right after a session, everything is abuzz and so nothing matters. A cooling down period lets the waters recede enough to let the treasures surface.
This concept reminds me of Stephen King's book, "On Writing," where he suggests waiting to edit a draft until after letting it sit in a drawer for several weeks. In many ways, my and my partner's campaign sessions are the first draft, the transcripts our insanely long manuscript. Every week we "write" by the seat of our pants, whereupon those events get filtered through Cael's perspective when I sit to write their journal entries.
The Goldilocks Zone in my case likely resides somewhere in between writing the journal entries immediately and waiting. If I wait, I lose that raw, emotional tumult toward day's events; write while the iron's hot, and I've a whole pile of word vomit that reads like a person glossing over their whole day from waking to sleeping without zooming in on any of the pique-worthy details that would otherwise enrapture you.
It makes me wonder what would happen if I did both as a discipline instead of the wishy-washy practice I've been accidentally following. I could write the entry shortly after the in-game day finishes like I usually do, then wait a handful of weeks before purposefully rereading the relevant transcript(s) and writing a new version of that entry. Splice the two together, and I'd have yet another draft that I could shove in a proverbial drawer to edit weeks later. I think I'd quickly find myself with a revolving-door setup of writing and editing and sharing.
To illustrate, I'll share the first of the entries I fell behind on, the 20th of Nudon. 'Tis as good a starting point as any. For it, I wrote it months ago, rewrote it months ago, and let it sit for however long before rewriting it yet again just last week.
20th of Nudon Draft 1
Year 5, Day 66 Sunday the 20th of Nudon: Night Valen, we have not only a fighting chance at reversing the damage I caused to the sky here on the Ezhiltean continent but also in restoring the Plane of Shadow to the Plane of Night. Kosris, Camus, Lyndis, and I met with Arch Druid Ardryll from the Juniper Conclave today in the woods where they intercepted us previously to collect Jhadyk, who’s doing well, by the way, and we learned much about the various wellsprings scattered around Aefala, including not only their locations but the existence of what are known as Gaea Crystals, which grow around them when the wellsprings are left undisturbed for great lengths of time. Though how long the process takes, I could not tell you. We haven’t seen any of the Crystals at the wellsprings within the Fallmond Grove or near Willowdale because the Juniper Conclave utilizes them to preserve and protect the wellspring from threats that seek to corrupt them. Understandable, I suppose, but they’ve cornered themselves as a result, as there are no more crystals on Ezhiltea, and the corruption is spreading much more quickly than in times past. Ardryll has stretched their magic thin in maintaining the Ash Woodland, and their forces have been dwindling. Pulled as taut as they are, one good punch is all someone needs to break their tenuous protection. A rather brittle final line of defense, if you ask me. I hope to ask the Vannush Family for their aid tomorrow, at least in regards to the nearby forest where they hunt, to help ease the burden on the Juniper Conclave. While dangerous for any one person to know where multiple wellsprings exist, Primal guardians once oversaw the protection of these wellsprings, dragons such as the Keeper of the Lake, Galphinos, and Isyreal, the white dragon we saw atop the Shimmering Peaks, along with wyverns such as Tazinyn in the First World. The existence of these magnificent creatures has dwindled, however, with the rise and spread of civilization. Those who remain have secluded themselves until such disasters as Hell encroach on their domain. We have a fighting chance at restoring the sky, Valen, and I believe I may be on the right path with my theories concerning the existence of a wellspring within the Plane of Shadow, if the Plane is anything like the Material Plane or the First World. The particular wellspring I’m thinking of was more than likely corrupted long, long ago. Well, it’s baked into our culture through stories and songs. Either Efialtis and Kalduin actually existed as guardians to said wellspring, or they are metaphors for the wellspring itself. If the latter, then I fear there may not be much we can do if it has, indeed, been destroyed, but I suspect there’s still a chance we can do something about it. With how isolated our people have been from the rest of the Plane, however, I doubt anyone would have the faintest clue as to where such a wellspring could be located. It’s either in Shadow Ezada itself---trends show that civilizations form over or near these wellsprings---within the ruins of where another city once stood---maybe even ‘ground zero’ of the catastrophe---or near enough to one of these locations to be within a few days’ travel, similar to the Serene Grove to Queen Niyamiya’s castle. These are all postulations, of course, but as Dayton said, the power from these wellsprings unconsciously attract others. If Shadow Ezada is anything like the College of Arcane Studies, then a wellspring could be channeling energy into it. If said wellspring is responsible for growing our crops as well, then the disruption with the Planar Phenomenon could be placing an unrealistic strain on its capabilities. Maybe the shadows can direct me to the whereabouts of the wellspring. The whispers I heard last night during my performance, ‘Release, release, release,’ have continued to haunt me throughout the day. I’m not sure if I’m actually hearing them still or if it’s just the memory that has remained with me, but either way, I sense no malice or deviousness from them. Most want to fear the shadows; I’ve chosen to trust them. They’ve nurtured me for a long time, and they continue to help me when I need them most. I’ll find a way to become a Shadow Walker and bring about the return of the Plane of Night. I can feel all of these tendrils pulling me toward Ezada and, ultimately, Shadow Ezada. Even going across the world brings me another step closer to that as my ultimate destination, my fate, if you will, because there may be resources on the continent of Ilasara that could aid in the restoration of our Plane, the very same resources that could fix the sky on Ezhiltea, and we may be able to locate what we need in the Slumbering Depths of Bhundarim. If we can eradicate the threat that has long held the mountain hostage, then we may be able to heal some of the Planar damage within the Aran Region as well. I don’t know how I will accomplish everything yet. I need to find allies in Ezada, and I need to undo some of Maryn’s harm. Before I go risking my neck against the shadow beasts outside Shadow Ezada’s barrier, I need to ensure your safety first, but I need to know where you’re located How I’m feeling: Days since last Zoning: 12 |
20th of Nudon Draft 2
Year 5, Day 66 Sunday the 20th of Nudon: Night More and more have I grown convinced that my ultimate destination resides within the Plane of Shadow, not necessarily just Shadow Ezada, but the entirety of the Plane itself as well. Of course, your safety takes priority, Valen. First and foremost, I need to discover where Maryn is keeping you and free you from his damnable clutches, but after that, I need to locate the epicenter of the destruction that broke our Plane, because I believe I may have a means of restoring it. Archdruid Ardryll from the Juniper Conclave was gracious enough to meet briefly with Kosris, Camus, Lyndis, and I early this morning so we could inquire about fixing the current cracks in the sky, which is how we discovered the existence of Gaea Crystals, natural formations that grow over time near wellsprings and contain the power to fend off corruption and maintain the health of the area surrounding the wellspring. Unfortunately, any hope we would have of locating any on Ezhiltea was quickly extinguished, for the Juniper Conclave has already utilized them for keeping the balance as best they are able at the various wellsprings around the continent. It’s quite possible the southernmost continent could provide for our needs in abundance, but it is uncharted territory on account of how magically volatile it is and how unpredictable the weather patterns. I wonder, was it always as such? Or did some cataclysmic event go unrecorded that resulted in the maelstrom? Perhaps even more far-fetched, but if the events of one Plane can cause a chain reaction on the Material, could it be that when the Plane of Night broke, the Material Plane felt the echoes of that catastrophe? Given how Zreslon’s actions have echoed across Planes, would it be so outlandish for a Plane-wide catastrophe to affect an entire continent here? I would need more evidence to support my hypothesis, but it’s my only lead currently for locating the wellspring on the Plane of Shadow, otherwise I will need to trust the shadows themselves to guide me. Either way, I will need to become what my father described as a Shadow Walker, an explorer who ventures out of Shadow Ezada in search of other civilizations. If I find this wellspring, the hope is to use Gaea Crystals from the Material Plane to restore it. I don’t believe it’ll be that simple, but it’s a start. I just hope the wellspring hasn’t been destroyed. If it has, then I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to mend the Plane. Valen, I don't know why I feel this way, but given my education and my relationship with the shadows, I feel I am the only one capable of undertaking this task. Perhaps I make too bold a claim, but who else in history has acquired as much knowledge about the Planar Phenomenon, the wellsprings, and can commune with the shadows? Even if I ultimately fail, I have to try. How I’m feeling: Frustrated that I slept most of the day after we arrived at the new Church of Therys in Shipton, though I am glad my spirit seems to be on the mend, according to the results of the spirit scan Dayton performed. Oh, Valen, you should have seen his face when we first arrived and I lay into him verbally like a cutthroat might with a knife. I knew there was a wellspring beneath the church! Ah, but it was so good to see him again. I regret having taken out some of my frustration on Kosris after I discovered Camus and Lyndis had been painting the LUrros Estate wall for five hours instead of finishing what they promised me they would do, which was informing who they could of tomorrow morning’s meeting. Why am I constantly acting in such ways that warrant constant apology? It was the same with Brod. I’m thankful Kosris has such a forgiving heart and did not hold my frustrations against me. He truly is a kind and thoughtful soul. I hope you have the chance to meet him someday, Valen. So often he reminds me of myself. The sincerity of his excitement and happiness surrounding the floor and room I dedicated to our activities together and the replica of his cove still fills me with warmth. I know he doesn’t want for much, but I would still like to share some of life’s luxuries with him. Days since last Zoning: 12 |
20th of Nudon Draft 3
Year 5, Day 66 Sunday the 20th of Nudon: Night Oh, Valen, you should have seen the look on Dayton's face when I went after him. "You," I said, waving my finger at him. "You have a reckoning coming." And he did! And do you know why, Valen? No, of course not, because I only just had the revelation between my performance last night and my meeting with Archdruid Ardryll this morning! A Verdant Anchor, a wellspring, exists beneath the Church of Therys. These anchors are not only very powerful locations of magic but also produce what Ardryll called "Gaea Crystals." The Juniper Conclave harvests these crystals and uses them as spell components around the Ezhiltean continent to help maintain and protect the planet's natural balance. As a result, scarce few remain, leaving the Anchors more vulnerable to the corruption of those vying for their power, and my gods if there aren't all manner of creatures seeking out these places of power. Take the Erinys, for example! She was hellbent on ransacking the Church of Therys during the incursion, and I could not for the life of me determine why. Well, now we know! And the existence of that Anchor is also probably why the Keeper of the Lake aided us during the incursion as well! Because dragons, Valen, such as the Keeper of the Lake; Isyreal, the white dragon we saw flying overhead as we descended into the caves of the Shimmering Mountains toward Themfaurum; Galphinos, the golden dragon of legend on Ilasara; and the wyvern, Tazinyn, in the First World's Serene Grove are these wellsprings' guardians and protectors. Which means — which means, Valen! — that Kalduin isn't a metaphor for the wellspring on the Plane of Shadow; it's its guardian, and guardians can be slain or become corrupted like Tazinyn was. If Dayton would have just told me his reasons for staying behind in the Church — which made no sense at the time! — I would have understood! And ja, sure, maybe he wasn't telling me a falsehood when he said he wanted to keep the doors open for anyone who might not have escaped the Estates District in time, but it certainly wasn't the whole truth, now was it, Valen?! Ohhh, I could have strangled him in that moment, Valen, really, truly strangled him. Okay, no I couldn't have. You caught my bluff. I understand why he kept it a secret. Even Ardryll warned us how dangerous it is for a single person to know the locations of all the Verdant Anchors, Zreslon being the perfect example of someone using them for nefarious ends. There's hope there though, too. If we can find an untouched Anchor, we may be able to harvest its Gaea Crystals to mend the crack I caused in the sky and halt the rain. Therefore, our next mission? Liberating the Dwarven ancestral home of Bhun-Darim on Ilasara. Here's to hoping its Gaea Crystals have flourished. How I'm feeling: Frustrated, primarily. With all there was to do, I couldn't afford to sleep for 7 hours, but lo' and behold, Valen, magic cares little for the priorities of mortals. According to Dayton, who at my request performed a scan of my spirit, it seems to be on the mend after everything I've put it through. It's just a smidge...leaky. A cracked receptacle. Sealing the cracks just requires time and patience. Exacerbating the frustration, however, was where I found Kosris, Camus, and Lyndis after I left the Church. I had sent them on ahead of me to deliver the message to Mure and the other important representatives of the Estates District telling them I was in town and calling a meeting for tomorrow morning to discuss everything we'd learned about Zreslon's plans. They'd only partially completed my request and then spent the last five hours spray painting a tree on the wall in the Lurros Estate. It's a magnificent tree, don't misunderstand me, but it just... In that moment, their negligence made me wonder if I could truly rely on them. I was short with Kosris, and his talking me in circles didn't help. If Camus and Lyndis hadn't noticed me when they did, I think I might have left to finish everything on my own and then spent the rest of the night brooding Efiál style. Instead, I merely...deflated. Hama, Aler, Maribella, Holli, the Shanty Town representatives...it was past sundown already and not even half of those I wanted at the meeting had been informed, not to mention my desire to check in with the denizens of Willowdale. Yes, I could have sent them a Dream Message — I had the spells available — but for something like this.... I don't know. It felt imperative to pay everybody the proper respect. I apologized to Kosris later, since he received the brunt of my disappointment, but I still feel guilty for my barbed words, because when I was standing at a loss on what to do, he was the one who took charge and suggested we divide and conquer: him with Lyndis, Camus with me. It was the kickstart I needed to get moving again, and it's what allowed us to finish everything in a timely manner. The rest of the evening was warm. Everyone from Willowdale is doing well, Valen. They've all integrated into the city just fine. Marbin from The Greasy Bone is allowing Silas to run the tavern in the evenings, and Aler and the fledgling Mercenary's Guild in Shipton has found its place and is growing. And when Camus, Lyndis, Kosris, and I returned to The Roost and the twins went their separate ways, I was able to sit back and relish the wonderment and curiosity on Kosris' face as he explored the activity room I made for us. You should have seen his delight once he discovered the hidden tunnel leading up to his secret alcove, Valen. Although, I suppose it wouldn't be too difficult for you to imagine, because for just the briefest of moments, I felt like I was standing in your shoes. Those moments of genuine wonder and joy? Those are the moments I want to protect most of all. Days since last Zoning: 12 |
Final Contemplations
I find a piece's evolutions far more intriguing than the first or final product, and the evolution of this one makes me giggle as Cael goes from stuffy curiosity to sassy resolve. What surprised me about writing that third draft, however, is how easily I found their voice and what they wanted to talk about most when I wasn't trying to capture the entirety of the day's events in the main body of the journal entry.
Even more wild, the topic and tone came to me shortly after I finished reading the 3 transcripts that encompassed the 20th. Usually I have to sit and ponder how I want to write. I used to freeze and stare at the blank page, treating each word as precious and permanent.
I believe blogging each week has helped me with that more than I anticipated. Every week I lay out the thoughts that have been at the forefront of my mind throughout that week's time frame. Every week I start writing the post on Wednesday and aim to publish it before the day's end, a loose deadline I made to hold myself accountable and encourage consistency. Though this year, because my posts have been longer, I haven't been able to adhere to a strict schedule; I've instead dedicated more time across more days to writing them. But the practice of engaging with the craft every week has improved my ability to get thoughts out on the page and being okay with their imperfection.
I'm excited to see how each area continues to improve as I further develop my skills.
Summary of Notable Accomplishments (9.2 - 9.8):
Been walking on my walking pad at a 12% incline for my daily step range of 8k-10k+ steps
I sweat profusely, and it sucks, but if I'm going to walk on it, I might as well burn the most energy I can while still walking
Besides, this has allowed me to start listening to the 3rd Dresden book, Grave Peril, which I'm 44% of the way through
I quickly learned that walking in place is far too monotonous for music alone, which is what I typically listen to while I go on my walks outside
Reread transcripts for both the 20th and 21st of Nudon, rewrote Cael's journal for the 20th, and laid out the base foundation for the 21st, though I still need to finish writing it
Both need editing, though I did do a round of editing for the 20th
Built With Science:
Shoulders
Arms
Chest
Legs
Did not get to Back during this week's time frame
I did some planning!
That is, my partner and I discussed a trial the party would be put through for our next campaign session, and I started to get ideas for his characters
I'll be sure to mention how that goes once we actually get to it
Session 144, not yet transcribed since it was on Tuesday (9.8)
Wawfuls
Real Talk:
What methods do you personally follow for improving skills you care about? Scott Young mentioned Benjamin Franklin's method in "Ultralearning," how he would read a magazine article then try to recreate the article by memory, comparing his with the original to find the areas he could improve. Hard but effective. An up-and-coming composer might look at Bach chorales and follow a similar method.
Can you think of an example where holding yourself accountable and consistently practicing a skill each day/week correlates positively with other areas you once struggled? (Such as the example I gave above reasoning through how blogging has helped lessen my struggle with perfectionistic writing.)
This Week's Obligatory Cat Pic: Qiri
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