Brushing off the Rust

How often have you spent weeks/months practicing a skill or working on a project, set it aside for a little while for whatever reason, and then returned to it later only to bumble with it like you'd never touched it before in your life? (I'm exaggerating some; any variation of the aforementioned question applies.)

When it comes to writing, I tend to overthink everything. I approach Cael's journals and writing in general with a poet's mindset: every word matters and should be meticulously chosen to increase the chances of evoking the desired reaction or to encourage deeper contemplation. This tendency, of course, clashes to the contrary of what most writing advice out on the market says, which boils down to, "get words and ideas down, edit later." Indeed, my approach would make writing an entire novel in a timely manner rather difficult, but, for better or worse, writing is where my perfectionism kicks into overdrive, causing the process itself to stall like a newbie learning how to drive stick for the first time.

December's goal to catch up on the 16+ journals I needed to (re)write and edit helped with that pesky perfectionism. As I wrote in a post back then, certain inhibitions needed to cave for me to accomplish the task I set out to do, but there's a downside to having caught up on all of the journals in the span of a month: I had no more journals to write. So, I petered and puttered, though I did not stop writing. It's just that the writing I've been doing in the interim has been of a different sort, and now that it's time to resume journals, the old habits have coughed back into gear.

The struggle is hilariously awful. I've been trying to write the 20th of Nudon for the past week. Oh, I've managed words, a meager 1 000, brushing off the rust from the most obvious places, but it lingers in the details, in unsatisfactory descriptions and depictions of personality.

Yet those of us who take our craft seriously, we tend to be overly critical of ourselves, don't we? Perhaps the writing is actually fine, the rust imaginary to all others but myself, or at least not as massive an issue as it feels. The challenge could simply be a matter of "getting over myself," since, like most learned skills, it doesn't take long to resume at full capacity, even if rebuilding the discipline and habit causes mild frustration for a handful of days.

Keep at it; you'll get there.

Other Notable Accomplishments:

• Read "Starter Villain" by John Scalzi. It was okay, a fun romp, but nothing too extraordinary. It got annoying when the main character kept saying a version of, "I don't know what's going on!" and everyone else purposefully withheld information for the sake of the gotcha! at the end, where everything is then explained. The dolphins were the best part, honestly. Poetry right there.

• Finished listening to "Storm Front" from the "Dresden Files" by Jim Butcher & started listening to "Fool Moon." ~31% finished

• Still reading "Empire" by Orson Scott Card. It's my workout book. That is, I read it when I'm resting between sets, so I only get a few pages in at a time each workout.

• Transcribe session 108: ~15 400 words

• Transcribed session 109: ~17 600 words

• Wrote correspondence between Cael and other characters: ~1 700 words

• Played Beat Saber to get in some cardio while it was cold and raining outside

  • Can still get near my high score for "Light It Up"

  • Failed "Ghost" though...

• Workouts for my Built With Science routine are progressing smoothly; nothing really to write home about

  • Though I did aggravate my right knee again, making weighted step ups and heel lifted goblet squats too painful to attempt

  • In the middle of another de-load week, though this time despite switching to a lighter weight for many of the exercises--not all!--I'm still pushing to complete as many reps as I can

• Started playing "Hades" with my partner. The script writing for that game is beautiful, the cadence and personality behind the words for each character artistic like calligraphy. I might replay the game from the beginning some day if only to study the verbiage more closely, because damn does it have my writer's brain frothing with jealousy. It's on the same level of elevated language that I wanted to capture for Efial's/Cael's journals, but I'm a far cry from weaving that kind of poetry.

  • And people say video games are a waste of time. Pah!

What's Left of Teyr'loch Delter Pach?

• Stalled for now until I get a free moment to continue.

Questions for Contemplation & Discussion:

• When it's been so long since you've practiced a skill or worked on a project that you set aside, do you find yourself wanting to avoid it, dreading it even, just as much as you are wanting to continue it?

  • What might you be avoiding now for this very reason?

  • Are you unsure of how or where to resume but eager to do something?

  • Do you feel like you need to "start over," or "go back to basics"?

  • Does the prospect of continuing something you haven't touched in so long intimidate you?

  • What are your methods for overcoming those hangups? Is it as simple as Nike's motto "Just do it"?

    • What alternative advice would you give to others who are in the position you once occupied?

This Week's Obligatory Cat Pic: All 3 Furbabies

"Paws off. My hoodie."